sweet victories.

and the first day of my last year at UVU begins in a few hours.
there is no way in hell that i'm really a SOPHOMORE in freaking COLLEGE. friend applications are now being accepted. this is so crazy. UVU is sort of like my own personal hell. i hate it there but there's something so exciting about almost being done.

• i have to have a meeting with my major advisor at the U this semester
• i apply for GRADUATION on the 5th of October 
• i apply for ADMISSIONS in January (possibly housing too) 
• i hear back by may
• then i cry. tears of excitement.  no other option. 

it's all coming together so nicely i cannot wait to see what's coming up next.

i feel as if i am finally at peace with myself. with most aspects of my life.
religion wise, i'm still quite not sure the mormon church is where i am meant to be. i know there's something out there that's much bigger than i am, whether that be God or the universe i acknowledge it. i know prayer is real. and whatever out there hears and loves me.

" Some say that heaven's far away..but I feel it close around me as I pray." 

we not me..

i went car shopping today. 

and i'm excited to be driving this new baby around..

i guess it's really not a baby. it's a mini SUV. but when i saw it, i sort of fell in love. i feel a little taken advantage of because it's not what i had my heart set on, or what i intended on spending either. i realistically wanted to stay under $7500. they had a red beetle that was $6500 but it wasn't in the lot. they made me feel like they were really listening to me and like he really wanted to sell me something i would love. and i mean i do love this car but i am missing petunia already.. a lot actually. but now, i'm $10,000.00 in debt.. and somehow have to try and save a total of $2500.00 for the big move to salt lake in a year. 

when i went into the dealership i guess i was only thinking of myself. i wanted this car. because i drive around a junker that doesn't start. i need this...

and even though i'm in love with this, was it really worth going to bed angry for? not really... 

oh wait..

sometimes when i read other blogs and they're all sappy and oooey-gooey the judgey side of me rears it's ugly face and thinks "puuuhleeease. your future? you JUST graduated. you're future is getting a crappy part-time and getting smacked in the face with the harsh realities of finals week"  but then in a split second i remember "oh wait.. i've had that talk and made those plans.." and my heart can't help but ache for this sweet girl. i feel so lucky in a way because i'm home. i'm close to one of the most important people in my life right now. we don't have to play long distance and i love it.

come what may and love it right?

mrs.

i always swore i would never ever be that girl who was crazy excited to get married. of course I would be once it came around, once I got that Tiffany's rock on my finger but not before then. even if that meant waiting years and years for him to come around, i'd be okay with that. but the more I think about it, the more I open my mind, the more and more excited I get for a wedding that isn't even in the works. the thought of waking up every single morning to the person you love sounds amazing. maybe it's just the utah county girl in me but i can't wait. or maybe it's because pinterest is full of wedding dresses and this sorta stuff, i can't help to be so excited to someday be a mrs. and then again it might be my enraged ovaries blogging here.

because i'm creepy and love it.