senior year at its finest

PROM:)

gah. i finally got to go to prom.

and it was a little overrated...

don't get me wrong, it was SUCH a blast!! i had the best date ever, an amazing dress and awesome shoes.

but it was honestly just another dance..there really wasn't anything special about senior prom as opposed to sophomore homecoming..

but i'm still so happy that i got to go:)

i got asked on thrusday...prom was saturday..

we're cute. we know.

waterfall braid:) stayed in ALL night and was super cute!! Thanks kim!!

the whole look:)

Joshie:)

Prom was a blast:) the best way to start winding down senior year:)

Now, we plan MORP!!!:)

so i was totally going to ask a kid in my spanish class, but he's a sophomore..and i'm a senior...craddle robbing much???

yeah, so i decided to ask a junior in my spanish class:)

we have over 1,000 feet of plastic wrap.

one jeep to cover.

in 45 minutes.

awesome:)

But with the school year winding down, finals, AP testing, and huge reports are all over the place.

in med english, we have this HUGE research paper coming up. i missed one day and i have to have my intro, all my body paragraphs, and my workbook done and ready to take the test on the i don't even know what unit. cardiovascualr i think.

so having the worst senioritis possible, i do everything before i actually work on my paper or workbook...

i clean my car:)

do my laurndry..

vacume my room

and

blog:)

i'll get around to it soon.

after all, my best writing happens around midnight...:)

and somehow, i'm expected to get ready every single morning for school.. yeah, i'm feeling sweats all week:)

a year later...

sometimes things happen and you wonder why..

and in the moment,
it seems like everyone is out to get you, no one understands you, and the world hates you
  but eventually,
you get over it.

and it takes a few nights of crying into your pillow, countless yougurtland trips, sleepovers with your best friends who tell you you're too pretty to be crying over someone like him. and with time
 you get over it.

because you realize that it never would've worked out..

and that you're only 17 and it's not time to really care about boys.

and then once you've fine and moving on in life,
they talk to you again..

and it all comes back

all the reasons you even liked him in the first place...
then when you actually see him,
you realize you're screwed.

because you really do like him.

Then you end up at some park on a monday night with him holding hands
wishing you both could take back everything that was said and done.

trust to be trusted

when i'm a mommy, i'll make sure that my kids feel like they can tell me anything. 

That i'll listen to whatever argument they have to make, and that no matter what i always take their point of view into consideration. Because i know how ridiculous it is to have been one of the few kids to make it through high school without never drinking, getting high or having sex, to bring home decent report cards, to go through over half your life in a sport that you never picked to please your dad and have no one at home not listen to a thing you have to say. To come home early two weeks in a row, and to be told that you can't be trusted. 

i remember once when i was little, i came home crying and my mom put everything down and hugged me and just let me cry. i don't know why, but it ment so much that my mom would do something like that..i felt like i could tell her anything and she'd still love me no matter what.. it doesn't matter how old you get, sometimes a hug from your mom and a solid crying session..not to be told that crying doesn't fix anything.

i want her to care.

i want her to trust me. 

i want her to trust in her parenting that i'll be okay..

that they've taught me right from wrong and if i make mistakes, they'll be my own. 

that paying for stuff isn't going to make anything better...

The harder you tug, the harder they tug. and in the end, no one wins. all you're left with is a strained relationship and puffy eyes in the morning. 

hey hey hey HEY:)

i got a letter :) 

la di dahhhhh :) so my friend Matt left on his mission like FOREVER ago and i told him i'd write him but i didn't wanna  be like the very first person he got a letter from..cause that's be weird.. so i waited....and i waited....and i waited...:) until last week..when it was his final week in the MTC before he got sent to Argentina...and he wrote back:)
yay:) i got a letter...i got a letter..i got a letter...hey hey hey HEY!:)