college say what??!?

pf. so it's official. college sucks. and i've only done one semester. i'm only a junior in high school and i'm thinking that i should start looking for scholarships and schools,(more like my parents forcing me too..) and kinda starting to figure out what i wanna do with the rest of my life. hm.. i'm 16 and i change my mind just about every day. so trying to make this decision right now, scares me SO badly. but due to tuition, i think i'm stuck inside utah.. at least till i finish undergrad stuff.. or unless i get married and he's willing to move to california and help pay for stanford..:) but until then, utah it is... even here, i have too many options.. like USU, UVU, U of U, SUU, BYU, Snow, Dixie, Weber and whatever else i missed.
msnhfaklsjg;liahfiodf... OVERLOAD. But i have figured out a few things generally.
number 1: i'm moving out no matter what.. sorry fam bam, i love you all.. but by then, it's gonna be time that your little girl learns to be on her own..
number 2: i want something kinda farther away from orem.. kinda getting to restart but not really. just far enough that i can have my own life, but still be able to visit sunday nights for dinner:)
number 3: the local walmart CANNOT close before 11. sorry CEU, you're out.
number 4: the campus has to be somewhat large. i don't wanna figure it out in a week.. i wanna have adventures, UVU, that puts you on the chopping block.. one summer semester and i knew you all too well
number 5: has to be affordable. i don't wanna have to ask for money or move back in after i moved out no matter what
 so for now, those are my rules.. pfffffff...
HELP!!!!!!!

19 days and counting..

so pretty much my 17th birthday is in 19 days. and its pretty safe to say that in my family, birthdays are epic fails. when i turned 15, i was supposed to get this massive party, with a total princess dress, huge cake that feeds 6 times the people who actually show, and topped of with my daddy-daughter dance. well, that day came and went. I think we just went out to dinner and my parents bought me something random. Cause the deal was that i wouldn't get my party, and i'd get a car when i was 16. party?? or car??? car??? or party?? easy. car.
Then the next birthday came around and i started talking about my car, or soon to be car. and OF COURSE my parents have no idea of the deal i'm talking about.. so they told me that i'd get to go shopping in california. my auntie knows a TON of way cute little boutiques, so i figured that was a little better then a car. a california vacation and cute clothes? i'm in:) but then something came up and california was off. typical. happy sweet 16th ali. you're cool.. they ended up taking my friends and i out to dinner and then mashed back to school shopping with my birthday shopping trip. yay.. i'm 16..
this year i'm 17. my last year before i'm an adult and all cool and old :P i decided that i was gonna make my birthday something simple. something that no matter what, they couldn't ruin. i asked for them to pay for track season. just 60 bucks. i figured since i was already running, they weren't going to mind making that my birthday present too. everyone wins right? NO. i asked and my dad decided to lecture about pointless stuff that no one cares about. so i didn't bother listening after the whole " you're not even that good!" comment came out. pff.. how would you know? did you come to a single race the ENTIRE season? nope, that's what i thought. so now i think i'm going to have to end up paying for the rest of xc season. which is only 60 bucks, and i have like 45.. so almost there. oh yeah. and another 60 for track, and another 15 for early morning weight lifting. did i mention that i have NO job? yeah. time to dig under the couches and find all the pennies possible. congrats. birthday ruined. 19 DAYS EARLY. new record. pffffffffffffff
oh well, in a weird and awkward way, i'm kinda glad my dad is such a jerk sometimes. it only makes me wanna work that much harder to make him eat his words.. just watch. i'm going to run varsity at least 2 races next xc season. and now that it's blogged, i have to follow through. so just watch. i'm going to do that AND defend my sparring titles at the same time. But after this birthday, i only have a year and a half left to deal with them. i CAN NOT wait to move up to salt lake to the U or even to logan to go to USU. either way, i'm out.

bitter sweet moments of life

wow. so i just got back from one of the funnest trips of my life:).  we went down to nike southwest regionals. LONGEST  bus ride of my life. i think that i've had my dose if  buses until girls camp. but with our team, it was pretty entertaining:) the hotels of course we're kinda not amazing, the showers sucked at the last one, and yet, it was still great:) with mall trips, meeting justin and nathan, then HARRY POTTER, then jumping on beds, and water fights with mark, then AMAZING pep talks from only the most AMAZING coach ever, and a birthday, it was easily one of the best trips ever. ever. EVER. but the race itself, oh my. i've never raced at that kind of level. in my life. i've fought at levels that intense. but runners like me, don't usually run at national level races. but i did:) and i wasn't as nervous as i thought i'd be. with the stress fracture and other things in the way, i wasn't able to run as much as i would've liked before this race. but i was able to bike a lot and i got to run a week or so before. of course, it's no where near enough to what you need to do good at nike, but considering my conditions, i felt good. like i had done all i could. and once i was there, the nerves were no where to be found. well almost. and once we got there to jog the course, i felt good:) then once the actual race came around, i felt good and as ready as i ever was going to get. my time was pretty good. and i loved the course. even the killer hills. oh golf courses are ment for running. just saying. and my finish was epic. neck in neck, trading the entire race, down to the last 800, about ready to die, and i somehow pushed it through.:) my goals for this season were to finish the race. no regrets. and end my first and junior season on a high note ready for track. mission accomplished. i can honestly say that this season was so much fun. and i've had the chance to meet such amazing, crazy, sweet, totally awesome people. and i'm so sad to see all our seniors leave!!!!!:( GAHHH. summer just isn't gonna be the same without them. neither is camp. or bob firman. or SUU or murray or region or pre region or nike. or anything else. but i guess this just means the rest of us have to step it up and keep this little thing we call the "bruin winning tradition" going. but still. lets just keep a few of them yes? yes. but we for sure ended this cross country season on an amazing note. bruins. lets get ready for track!:)
 the more and more i thought about this whole adventure we were on this weekend, it kinda hit me.. like that's me next year...:( like it's almost over.. then we all have to grow up, and all the worth while boys go on missions and college and and and it's just not high school anymore!!!:( i've always wanted to be a senior and get out on my own.. but now, now that i'm so close i'm not so sure anymore...:(

speeeedy speeeeeeedy

there are just those days in life when you try to do everything in the world at the same time. and no surprise you fail. epically. haha much like today. the plan was to wake up early-ish and curl my hair. cause i FINALLY figured out a way to curl it without my head looking like a poof ball. i mean it only took me almost 17 years and 7 dollars. but no biggie. better late then never right? AAAAAND i think it might be one of the best 7 dollars i ever spent. (usually, money goes to food.. like taco tuesday.. and whatever looks decent at holiday. oh ya. and starbucks runs) but obviously, being me i woke up on time, and then slept in another 24 minutes to be exact.. oops.. hahah so i woke up half an hour late and got ready. this fine morning tho, i was all ready in time before my car pool got here. usually, i'm forever late getting down to the car. NOT today. woohoo:) go me. then cross country rolled around, and we were doing two's today. I. LOVE. TWO. HUNDREDS. AHHH. we were running 6. but being the cripple that i am, i could only run 4. or at least that's what coach said. i thought that i was gonna be awesome and try to run all 6. but after the second one, i wanted to die. my first one was awesome. the second and third eh. and my last one, i ran barefoot:) and it was the best. I. LOVE. RUNNING. BAREFOOT. AHHH. then i thought i'd try for a fifth, but my body quickly said no to that idea. oh well. PFFF. so that was kinda a fail..
then around 5 ish today i went to practice being the good little child that i am. there are two kids there that are training for nationals. but you have to place at qualifiers first.. i don't know for sure that they know this.. cause they way they're talking, you'd think they have a spot on the national team already.. but whatever. they're cool. i like em:) so we're starting conditioning training. oh baby. its been great fun. my body constantly reminds me that i'm not superman or anything. but last time i told a coach that, he told me that its when you're body feels like that and you push through all that and have at least one amazing, knock-out worthy kick, it's what makes champions. hmmm.. good thing we were doing speed today. yeahhhh. speed in taekwondo means hot, sweaty bodies all pushing themselves farther then and faster then they ever had before. it's great. you end up drenched. and that's the best thing ever when you train with all boys. yummy.
but on a much different note, we got our family pictures back and they're so cute:) gah. missy eyre is AMAZING!!! everyone. get dance pictures from her. she's so amazing!!!  here are a few that I really LOVED

Add caption

aw




[Playing it safe is the most popular way to fail]
this is my quote for the day:)

-ali 

11.12.10. (for lack of a better title..)

some days stuff just gets to me and i cant control my emotions entirely. like today. we had a veterans assembly and i knew a marine that lost his life out there.. and i've heard all the stories and everything countless times and of  course when i first heard it, i cried. and today, when his step dad came to the assembly and told the story.. um. yeah. i cried. again. pfff. i thought i was okay. like my throat was getting awkwardly tight and my jaw was quivering but i THOUGHT i was okay. until austin looked over and asked if i was okay. that set it off. haha austin.. i guess i still love you:) but blehhhh. i hate crying at school. hate. it.

life is full of random little things called "decisions..."  they don't sound all that fun. but i guess that they are just needed. and as a teenage girl i'm faced with 38695846298 decisions daily. i counted. it all starts off with.. do i shower tonight and curl my hairs tomorrow and be adventurous? or do i get an extra half hour and play it safe? then when it gets to getting in bed, its the constant struggle between sweats or shorts. Then morning. do i wake up now or snooze...? do i eat breakfast or run out the door? then it leads up to do i go home or go to cross country? what to do.. what to do. usually it's not that big of a deal until recently. i've noticed that due to certain decisions made, some things get lost and others gained. but i'm not sure i'm willing to loose these things. and its not like its something epic. like do i go and drink or have a movie night? but it feels almost that way. and its kinda not okay. and i do not know what to do at this point. i kinda wanna curl up and cry. again. only this time not at school ha. and i have a gut-feeling that it only gets harder as we get older. oh man, i miss the days when my mommy could fix everything with a kiss and the worst thing that could happen was your shoelace getting untied. and to think that we all couldn't wait to grow up... i guess that everything happens for a reason an due to recent events, it's just made me realize how much i love my parents. they are pretty cool and put up with me. i dunno  how i'm gonna be a mom if i have a kid like me. i think i woulda sent me to boarding school by know...but they haven't yet :) and i'm not sure its cause it's pricey or cause the kitchen wouldn't ever be cleaned...

so i think that's it for this post.

-ali

eet eeet eeeeet

for some reason today, i'm in a very bipolar mood. When i woke up, i felt exhausted and then as the day progressed i went through everything. In math, everything that Anna banana  and Sanchez (oh i love these two. they simply make my day, and are the only reason i go to math at 7:45 in the morning.. them and the fact that my carpool comes and i don't wanna walk the mile to the school in the cold..)said was for some strange reason the funniest things ever. i laughed almost the entire class. Ha. then in chem i was just cold. and until i aced my quiz, i was really bored. Then study hall came along and i wanted to punch carling in the face. sometimes. well, almost all the time. but today really. But lets be honest. Study hall is completly pointless. no one does anything "productive." we all just sit there and talk about sadies. hmmm.. i vote we get rid of study hall and cough over extended lunch. they're always ranting about how we are young adults, um guess what mv administration?! the rest of the world gets extended lunch. even orem high. and no one likes them...:)

So camille and i have the same day of birth. and the same last name. and the same A1. we are almost like twins. but not. so obviously, we are gonna party hard on december 16. cause we be 17!!!!!!!! but we wanna do something kinda epic. any ideas anyone...?

I've been thinking so incredibly hard about this party issue delema thing that me and my almost twin have, that when i was driving home from tkd last night i forgot that i was driving. yes, i talk to myself when i drive, and i think that i might just hold conversations with myself too. hand actions and everything. BUT when i realized this, i regained all the sane-ness i had left after 3 hours of kicking, jumping, falling and wanting to curl up and cry, and drove safely home.:) by then i was about two minutes away from my house and i realized that jesus loves me:) i made it home while driving like a total dumb. sorry utah drivers. i guess you shouldn't have given me a license..

Hm yesterday i also had another realization. This one happened when i was doing kicking drills with erin. we were doing defensive roundhouse. and i was just nailing all of them. back. to. back. to. back.  then erin just asked "you fight huh?" and for some reason, i smiled like a total idiot and a said yes. then she said "i can tell. the really good fighters usually have really good round kicks." and for some reason, that TOTALLY made my day. It feels so good to be on the floor again. the smell of the foam mats, the horrid smell from your gear, the burn in the back of your throat after a match, and the awful taste from your mouth guard are somehow all worth it. nothing compares to the rush of a fight. after ten years, i just cant seem to leave it. no matter how hard i try. gahh. addiction? possibly.

[todays championship was won yesterday at practice]

body please love me again:(

bleh so for the past  week i've had allergies and a cold. yeah it was great. i about wanted to die. if it wasn't my nose that was all sickly and runny, it was my eye balls. Or it was my throat. and if it wasn't either of those, it was my stress fracture and shin splint. blehh. easy to say that this week was not my week. usually i just have days like this, not this time. a. whole. week. so glad its over.

 hm so i've come up with a new discovery. tkd and xc are not the same thing. at all. when i quit tkd due to dumb drama, i started xc like a day later. And i've been running just about every single day since. i even went to xc camp:) and the season has been pretty much amazing. go bruins:)

farrrrrrs:) 

second at bob firman:)

second at SUU :)

jayvee:) 

xc cheerleaders?? what??
T-R-U-C-K! keep on truckin all the way!!!

state runner ups. yeah buddy. don'tcha wish you were a bruin?

and i thought going back to tkd after um, 6 or so months wouldn't be all that hard. But it was. My first day back, i about died. Its not really the best feeling going from the top of one team to the noob of another. Everyone there is just so close-knit and its almost intimidating trying to break into that. But everyone was nice enough i guess. It's almost like the first day of high school all over again. You want the "cool kids" to like you but you don't wanna be fake. pretty much i miss my old team. if you'd look in the dictionary under "weird family team who beats each other" we were there:)

our verrry 1st tourney with both schools. pressssh 

this. this happened years before we even knew each other :) and of  course, she prolly kicked by butt in forms and i took sparring. years later and we be besties. i love you britt!

classic

cutest thing ever.

sexy time :)

only in tkd can you kick your friend in the face and hang out afterwards. i love you boys

jew. jews know what they are going. shaked= beast

head hunters:) thats just how we roll

hahah the best thing about all these pictures, it that they are all of  our first tourney together. after about a month of training together and it was such a blast. 

idaho!! one weekend. 46051
360641641 bags. yes. we are teenage girls.

and yes. we trashed idaho:) 

 vegas here we come:)  US open

pairs. Tony pretty much had the most amazing kicks ever. why did i get paired with the amazing kid? who knows 

lets be adventurous in vegas. suchi.. nast

hello norway.

:)

we be weirdies

cute:)

LETS GET MARRIED

state champ:)

call us family:)

Yeah. we've been through it all. And i mean it all. Broken bones, knock outs, international opens, road trips, deep talks with rob:), testings,  locals, some of us even had things, and honestly, i'm sad to have us all leave and do our own thing..

So yes:) after my first tkd workout in month, i remember why i wanted to quit at one point, and why i didn't. So sore. So tired. And ready ferr endurance tomorrow morning.