2012, you have been swell

2012 has been one for the books in my opinion.
lets start from the beginning.

JANUARY
as of last year, i am a firm believer that all good years end and start with a new years kiss. last year i kissed this kid right as the ball dropped. it was really cute but kind of super awkward because i was taller than him and my best friends were staring at us right when it all happened.. but i think it gave my year a push in the right direction.
i tested for my 3rd degree black belt.

hardest thing of my life. never will i ever do it again.

FEBRUARY
the whole new years romance had blown up in our faces and we could not stand to be around each other. too bad we had 2 classes with each other every day. for the rest of the year.

MARCH
march was a turning point in what i decided to do with my spare time. i got a pinterest account.
productivity was lost early in the year. but around march,,i went through this "I LOVE ALL THE QUOTES ON PINTEREST" kick and in result, i have pages of awesome quotes in my journal. i think i can pinpoint it to march when i started to finally decide to figure out who i really was as a person. who i wanted to become and how i was going to get there.
i walked in my very first dress show!:)

ugliest dress of my life.

 i have random songs that i fell in love with all through out the year.
march was belle and sebastian.

APRIL
my world was sort of turned upside down.
"Hey Ali. Sorry this took so long, but I kinda did figure it was my fault we broke up. I'd give you a full apology but this damn thing is limiting me. Hope you're taking good care of Joe."
after a year, jake duros, once again, reared his head into my life.
i met up with him one day when i was supposed to be at an AP spanish review and..we kissed. again. i was just so confused about everything. i liked him, but i didn't like him enough to try to make a long distance relationship work. but he was trying so hard to make this different. he kept saying "lets not have another break up." and he offered to spend prom with me, because at the time, i was still dateless and i missed out on my jr prom because we broke up 3 weeks before. i remember almost crying..and agreeing to spend prom with him but not to the whole "lets not break up again" deal.
 april was the middle of my senior year, and i had just transferred into AP spanish. there was this really cute sophomore, but i mean, he was a sophomore. nothing was going to come of it. or so i thought. i LOVED that class. the teacher loved me, i was the only senior girl, so all the boys talked to me, and it was pretty easy. sometime during april, we had a fire drill outside  and it was raining and freezing. i was standing in the field all alone, then out of no where there's a big pair of arms that have me wrapped up.  it was taylor. my first thought was "man. this is a ballsy kid. he smells good, and has nice arms."

MAY
nothing had changed with the whole jake situation. but the taylor deal had gotten a lot more interesting.
i told him i liked him.
we kissed.
then i fell hard for a sophomore who had already treated so much better than jake ever did..
the LAST month of my SENIOR YEAR of freaking HIGH SCHOOL.
track season ended.
matt wrote me:)
and i took my AP spanish test:)
went to morp.
got asked to prom:)
may 18th:)
i almost didn't walk at graduation.
no worries though, i did:)

i wrapped my dates car in 1200 feet of plastic wrap:) he got me 129342 goldfish. taylor came and rescued me from them. 

senior prom!!:)

presh

after walking!!:) we did it!

waiting to walk

JUNE

june was mostly spent with taylor from what my journal says. 

we went to summer fest with ellie and michael. it was freezing but super fun:) 

a whole month spent of endless nothingness.

summer<3

we went mountain biking for the first time:)

celine came from FRANCE to play with us!:) 

he held our shoes so we wouldn't sink in the grass:)

girls camp with these lovely ladies:)

JULY

july was a month of firsts. 

weddings, funerals, realizing how amazing my friends really are.

my ex best friend got into a motorcycle accident with david cancilla. the day after his sister got married. 

i was called to be a leader for girls camp. and i was able to come down to go to the funeral. 

i was terrified. i had no idea what to expect. i asked taylor to come to the funeral with me. i bawled the entire time. the look on some of the people's face is permanently engraved into my memory. it breaks my heart every single time. 

the support and love i got from all my friends was incredible. 

girls camp for the last time with my ward girls was amazing.

AUGUST

LAKE POWELL 

 

a week in the sun, half naked, all day every day. holla at yo gurl.

"i always wanted to be perfect for someone." 

summer was finally winding down and there was a lot in store for our cute little summer fling. half the world thought we wouldn't last summer, the other half was sure we'd break up once school started. but i wasn't quite ready to let him go just yet. football season was in full swing and i feel like i almost died during football. 

SEPTEMBER 

college man. i officially was a college girl. 

:)

OCTOBER

october was full of ups and downs. 

i finally made peace with 3 different people who at once ment a lot to me and it all ended to awkwardly. but now, we're switzerland. all is well. 

i was also photographed for UVU!:)

i then\ learned first hand that the person who was never supposed to hurt you probably will. it'll break your heart and you'll cry for days on end. then your best friend drives down from salt lake at ten at night on a week day and just holds you and lets you bawl on them while everything just sucks. and that's when you learn to be a grown up and try your very hardest to forgive them because they hurt themselves just as badly. 

NOVEMBER 

you know those awkward times when your mind says something but your insides are saying the exact opposite?

welcome to a solid 3 weeks of my november. 

i got a JOB!!!:)

then there was thanksgiving!:) 

DECEMBER

i survived my very first finals week ever. 

it was filled with endless nights skyping with taylor doing math, reading biology, and crying. somehow, i survived. 

best. birthday. ever. 

pretty gnarly chistmas too:)

this year has been one for the books:) it's had some serious ups and some serious downs. the kind that make you wonder if you'll ever crawl back up again. but over all, it's been amazing.

here's to 2013!

best one yet

today is my birthday.

everyone sing! quick!

"happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you.."

just kidding. 

but this weekend has been amazing.

 i am so blessed to have such an amazing family and friends. like really. 

yesterday, i went on the best date of like..the year. and pretty much ever.

(because i don't go on many dates..shh don't tell..)

so i requested work off a week ago for this saturday and my manager was tole me to find someone to cover me and i could have it. i asked everyone i worked with, and of course, EVERYONE was on that saturday. so i was just going to work my birthday celebration day away. but then i got there and basically, Jimmy, another host, offered to take my shift for me!! what a gem! i worked like 18 solid minutes. cool. 

so then i went home and got all pretty for my birthday date with Taylor.

leggings, combat boots (present from the parents:)) and some cute t-shirt with curled hairs. pretty much adorbs right?

so Tay came and got me and we went to my FAVORITE restaurant ever. 

cafe rio.

the way to my heart might just be through grilled chicken salads..

then i ate my entire salad almost. like totally pigged out..woops..

so after dinner, i had no idea what was going on and all i got from Taylor was "It's a surprise." so off we drove to the riverwoods!!

cute right?? we walked around a little then we went on a carriage ride. it was like lightly snowing and not super windy. basically, it was perfectness. 

then i got my birthday present:) 

isn't it gorgeous??

yes, your answer is yes because it's flat out gorgeous. 

basically, my boyfriend is cooler than yours. 

then i came home to this...

petunia was encased in a snowy case of distress. 

it took me like .2 seconds to think of who would've done this. 

of course. 

but! they imported snow directly from springville. they cleaned out a park doing so. 

taylor jumped out of the car and got petunia out in like 5 minutes. 

boyfriend of the year?

i think yes. he deserves a mug that says that or something:)

then sunday was another partay.

i went danny's farewell. he ran xc for a season..or a week..i'm not sure but he was on the team and his farewell was on the same day as  Mark's (mark was on the team for forever) and well..danny was always super duper nice, mark wasn't. so off to danny's we went. 

turns out it was Taylor's ward too. so i had to get ready for reals. no one should see 7 am on a sunday. ever. 

we got there and tay tay came and sat with us and danny was late to his own farewell and he's gonna be an amazing missionary! then during sacrament meeting i got bored and thumb warred taylor..then his poppa sends him a text and it says "do you think you could keep your hands to yourself?" and i about died. too funny. :)

then after church, britt called and gave me many options for breakfast. crepes sounded amazing. britt came and kidnapped me and gave me my birthday present. 

a cable knit blanket.

shut the front door!!!!!!!!!! 

then we went to her house where jason,britt's daddy, made us breakfast! crepes, eggs,bacon and hash browns. so goooood. 

then off to salt lake we went because all good adventures begin there. 

we then went ice skating at the galivan center and that was quite the experience. it was actually super fun:) 

aren't we the cutest? it was totes the wrong day to not wear pants..oh well. then we went and got starbucks and it was buy one get one free. so we gave the other one to a homeless man because we wanted to be nice. then we got cold and came home to costa chicken:)

how cute are we???

then i came home to MORE birthday cake 

with my lovely family:) 

then on monday, i went to yogurtland with my favorite runners. 

kels,laur, and kami :)

and i got an interview at doTERRA!:) 

i feel like 19 is going to be amazing:) 

one for the books:)

going crazy

there are so many things running through my head right not it's not normal. 

i should be focusing on the FINAL stretch of my english paper due in 25 minutes. but words aren't coming to me.. women's rights..i feel like i have said everything possible and them some. somehow i need one. more. PARAGRAPH.

what makes this particularly hard is how many random thoughts are in my head..

i need to go running.. i'm getting chubby i feel like. in the notebook when Allie goes "i don't paint anymore.." i feel like i'm sitting here saying "i don't run anymore.." then i realize it's because i have no time. none at all. i come to school, go home and do chores, then work until 8 sometimes 9, then crash. running is what kept me sane for all of high school. why is it now, when i need it the most, i have no time for it?

it breaks my heart a little.

i was on insta and i saw this picture. this girl has amazing hair.. but it was like "staying up late at night thinking of all the wrong i've done to people.. #i'msosorry #otherhashtags #moredepressedhighschooldrama

i don't know this girl. at all. all i know is what i've heard from people and she doesn't have many fans from the group of people i hang out with. but even if i'm totally wrong about what she's referring to, i'm kinda glad she went and hurt certain individuals..because it gave me the opportunity to know certain people on a level that never would have been reached unless we were both broken in a sense.. i guess "pain" is this weirdly gnarly thing. it hurts oh so bad, like double over on your  bed and sob into the early hours of the morning bad but..it makes us that much stronger. weirdness. 

i really need headphones..there are so many conversations going on around me and i don't care about your "Peruvian bread from Mexico.." or "your epic jump shot last night" or even "oh my god. she totally slept with her boyfriend!" that one did make me laugh though. thank goodness for laptops you can hide behind. 

i need a hug..

or flowers..

or a puppy..

or finals to be over. i never thought they would be this bad. i always looked at my college friends and thought "psh..i bet it's not even that bad.." oh hah no. it is that bad and some. 

then when your 6 page research final goes "poof" and you're left with half a paragraph.. you want to kill yourself. 

but thanks to lovely Britt Britt, i somehow got through this. i'm so incredibly glad my best friend is showing me the ropes with this whole "college-finals" thing. i would die without someone so willing to let me cry to them. 

(this was written at 11..and posted at 6:30. my finals are HALF way OVER!! heck to the yes!!)  

Ooops

a few days ago i told my dad i wanted a dog.

what did he do?

he went on KSL and was like  oh happy birthday child, lets get you a god. so eventually he was like "okay here's one..contact her and see what's up" 

so because i've been craving a puppy for YEARS and YEARS and FINALLY 

i was getting a puppy!
a 12 week old  purebred yorkie named Brandon. who i was going to retain to answer to Chester.

so what did i do? i emailed this lady Vela Fisher about the puppy i want.

she tells me that they're on some Baptist mission in Switzerland and it's too demanding to keep up with all the care the dogs need. They'll cover the travel fees and everything as long as their dogs have a home.

she asks for 25 dollars so we could get all the names on the paperwork changed. so i begged my mom for the 25 dollars and the okay to get this puppy.

when i told my dad he was sketched out about the whole thing. then i pulled the whole "you have no faith in humanity!!! the glass is half FULL" card..then he was like okay fine..

so i got a money order thinking that if i gave them the reference number they could cash it, but a money order and a money gram are totally different. who knew?

so the dog's name is supposedly under my name. then i got an email from "aircargoeuropa" and they were like "hey if you don't pick your dog up we come after you." 

and i freaked out. i mean what the heck?? i'm not even in switzerland! 

then i get another email and it was like "you need to tell the sender to come back to the airport because we need 1,500 dollars before the dog can fly."

and i was like whaaaat?

so i sent the email back to this lady and she was like oh ya.. we took care 900.00. you need to come up with the 600. by tonight. 

so being naive and puppy starved, i begged and begged. 

the parents said no. 

i only have 200 dollars. when i told this to vela she was like oh we came across the rest. and i was like ooooo! chester is MINE!
then they were like okay. wire your money down to Mexico City and we'll get it and send out dog.
and i was about to when i had a funny feeling about it. so i called the moneygram people and told them i had a money order and what i was trying to do. granted i was almost crying at the thought of 1. my dog all alone at the airport. and 2. the cargo company being like oh hey we're coming for you
so the lady i talked to was super sweet and told me that she was certain this was a scam..and to call the local FBI to make sure
so i did.. and i talked to some man who also said not to worry about it, and that it sounded like a scam to him too
then i called britt and told her everything.
she agreed.
but now i'm puppyless and sad...and i have to tell my dad that he was right. i think that's the hardest part of all this.
basically,i hate ksl.

give thanks

things i'm thankful for 

1. this little monster. she's pretty cool for the most part. 

i love me  my sissy 

2. the fam. they are wonderful (for the most part). but they never cease to love me at the end of the day. xoxo 

retro. where it all began. 

18 years later.

sanchez's. awh, i love em all!

3. sports. in general. they've given me the chance to meet some of my best friends and kept me from being an overweight monster. 

who woulda thought that the girl in second would be my worst enemy then turn into my BEST friend years later? love me some bhoff<3 

awh baby me and britt sparring

nike regionals 2011 

cross season 2011

4. britt brinkerhoff. 

who would have ever thought that two girls who were the top dog at their own studios would have to merge teams and later become best friends? i honestly hated this girl when i first met her. then after a few solid punches and some major brawls, we decided that we liked each other. and here we are, almost 4 years later, besties and soon-to-be roomies. holla at yo gurl:)

5. this kid.

this kid is tay taaaaaay. and he is rather swell. he listens to me when i freak out about nothing, and hugs me and lets me bawl on him when i climb into his car already in tears. he comes to viola things because my little sister asks if he'll be there and he helps me with my math homework on the regular. basically, i kinda love this kid and am super stoked he's around

6. facebook.

it gives me the access to all of my ex-boyfriends girlfriends and all sorts of fun things. it makes stalking so much easier. and i know everyone else is just as thankful for facebook. they're just not willing to admit it. 

7. trials.

i guess it's true. if we didn't know what the bitter was like, we'd never really know how good the sweet really is. in a weird way, i am thankful for all those nights i spent crying into a pillow because of some boy. it's taught me what i do and don't want in a relationship, it's taught me to be thankful for what i have now, and all sorts of fun stuff.

8. deodorant and nail polish

i know i'm not the only one who is thankful for smelling nice

and who the heck doesn't love doing their nails? it's like therapy. only cheaper. 

9. missionaries 

i just think they're awesome. i love getting letters from Matt and hearing all about Argentina. it seems like he should be coming home soon but guess what..it has only been like 7 months. 

10. marines 

all the service men and women really. but i just know a few marines and they are true bad asses. 

11. the church

although sometimes i have the hardest time with it, i like to think that there is some thing out there bigger than anyone of us here calling the shots. that we aren't just here wandering around and fall off the face of the earth when we die. i think i'm finally finding out for myself if the church is really true and i feel like i'm at the crossroad where i decided to truly gain my own testimony or decide that the church isn't for me.

so this is it

i woke up hoping it was just all some nightmare i dream of. 

but the pounding headache and puffy eyes remind me how real it is. 

it sucks. i'm so sad..

thank goodness i have amazing friends who are willing to drive down from salt lake just to come cuddle me and hold me as full emotion set in. and another incredible friend who went to the creepy gas station just to come over too. 

choices

if the world worked the way i wanted, football season would've ended yesterday. 

i'm a horrible person for wanting taylor's team to lose.

whatever. i don't care anymore.

but of course. life never goes the way you want it. so guess what. 

they won!

woot woot!! go bruin football!!

and i really am glad they won.. promise

but it just means another little bit of no taylor. 

but then i thought of something 

"why am i almost all bummed and what not..? he likes football. well sorta. and they just won a game! i should be happy they're not last in the region. and if i'm upset, then what? nothing changes. football season will still go on, and nothing gets changed." 

so i decided that i'm not going to sweat it. i have mid terms to worry about and it's not like i won't see taylor ever again. 

then i woke up to a lovely text from brinks. 

"chose to make today a good one.." 

(of course there was more, but i don't feel like sharing with the rest of the world)

and i was like ya! today is gonna rock,because i'm going to make it.

so i got pretty for school, i was on time, found awesome parking, finished my paper, and i'm just waiting until my next class starts mindlessly loving today. because i made it a good one.

thank goodness for amazing friends:) 

britt and britt

this weekend was fabulous. 

on friday, i spent the night at my besties house up in salt lake.

and i've decided that i love the city. 

something about 9th and 9th was incredible. 

a cute hippie shop, gelatto, a yoga studio..all on the same street.

and a few blocks north; a cupcake shop. 

ah yes. 

it just has this small town vibe, with the big city feel. 

everything is in walking distance, but trax are a few blocks north and there's the rest of salt lake. waiting to be explored.

what better way to explore a city when you both look totally adorbs?

the whole day had been rainy and we weren't sure if lagoon was going to be possible. so after costa vida, we called and they said it was still open..so off we went.

on our way to lagoon we saw this..

"poor ched!! why did they hit him???

oh wait..they're HITCHED..like married..oops.."

we got there like 3 minutes after they opened then realized it was because it was raining..

pre-rain. lookin good :) 

oops i'm cute? i think yes. 

look! rain!!

lagoon in the rain was amazing! no lines, front row parking and we went on every single ride. when we first got there we tried wiping the seats dry, but there came a point when you realized that your panties were soaked either way. 

the only down fall was that the frightmare characters walking around remember you when there's less than 100 people in the whole park. they follow you and try to talk to you..and basically, in a clown or zombie apocalypse , britt and i would be screwed. we'll fight off rapists before we have to go near clowns. 

after a few hours, we were exhausted. nothing sounded better then sweats and food. here is the aftermath

 wet dogs much?

during lunch, jake texted britt and asked if she wanted to go over for dinner. she filled him in, and he was totally cool with me tagging along. so we got fed papa murphy's after a long day of playing in the rain. 

but before we went to dinner, we hit up jess and josh's place. they're the ones we all went to powell with! i love them!:) 

only thing is that i almost died.. 

they have a cat. mateo. he is ADORABLE. when we were downstairs, they had a pad laying out so britt and i collapsed. i was face down trying to get warm. when my eyes start itching..my nose starts stuffing..and my throat starts to close off..i inhaled cat hair..oops

i guess i'm a little more allergic then i figured. 

15 minutes later, i had an itchy puffy eyeball, (just one) a stuffy nose, and a man voice. 

good thing we were headed to dinner with another one of my ex's.. 

once we got there, it wasn't as bad as i thought i'd be.. i pulled off an "oops i'm cute and look like a wet dog" look..

jake is actually super nice now a days, really kinda funny, and smells good. and gave me medicine for my allergies. snaps for saving my life jakey! easton was there too. party hats and button ups all around!

after dinner, we watched V for Vendetta, and about 5 minutes in, i was out. i kept on zoning in and out throughout the entire movie..and then i was being poked in the face at 1:30. 

yay for nice ex boyfriends who feed you:) 

then when i got home, i went to starbucks with britt:) a different one:) 

this britt i met when i was like 12. i was a beehive and she was a senior. and she was down for a wedding and we got together and just talked. i like her lots:) i remember thinking she was so cool. she was the cool senior -laurel on dance company at the high school. oh. my. heck. 

and now she's the cute itty bitty married britt with a super duper tall hubby. and they are adorbs. (in pictures mostly. because that's all the stalking i do. but i'm positive they're adorbs in person too) 

basically, this weekend was such a wonderful way start off a new week. yes, refreshed and ready to take on mid terms in a week. 

i made peace with everyone on my "i wonder what it would be like if i ever saw them again" list. every single person. 

1. tony

2. jake

3. easton

salt lake is fabulous.