post finals.

i survived. 

holla at yo gurl 

oh silly BYU students

check out the guy's hair around...52 seconds

this guy..is hilarious. i think he is great. take a listen.

mind the language. bahahahah jenna marbles. 

the end is in sight

one presentation, 6 page research paper, 4 page hand-written reflection and one math final later.. the end is in sight. 

i have a 100 question biology final and then a quick presentation in front of 50 eighth graders. no biggie. 

i am freaking out about my biology final though. i need to ace this. i usually get biology so well, and this semester has been hell. 

i've been scoring low on all my tests..and i basically failed my last one. 

i just need to do decently on this final and i think i'll be okay. 

in high school getting a C was devastating.. in college, it's almost a relief just knowing you passed the class. 

today i got the email i was waiting for though. 

i got into my American Nat Gov class!!

now i'm signed up for 15 credits and ALL of them count towards getting to the U and i'm actually super excited about next semester. 

i feel like noticing that email just now was a good sign from the heavens. everything will be okay as long as i put in my hours. god will provide:)

i've come to a conclusion, it's not gonna make any difference if i have an amazing math teacher if i don't put in the extra time myself. so this semester, i'm gonna rock my math class. i'm gonna go to math lab, not slack on my homework when the semester is almost over, not miss class, take advantage of office hours and skype taylor when i need him. mostly so i don't keep taylor up into the late hours of the night explaining inequalities and quadratic formula. even though it is pretty grand to have my very own personal tutor who just happens to be the sweetest guy around:) 

lets get on the dean's list shall we?

to do list:

1. wake up early 

2. get ready 

3. be at kelsey's by 7

4. be on time to bio final 

5. act bio final

6. present for lakeridge kids

7. come home and take my "i made it through my first finals week" nap

8. wash my work jeans

9. go to work

10. find someone to take my saturday shift 

11. love life

clearly my morals are too high..

only joking:)

nuhh uhhh gurrl freeeind

i should get paid to pin

they lied. every. single. one. of. them. 

going crazy

there are so many things running through my head right not it's not normal. 

i should be focusing on the FINAL stretch of my english paper due in 25 minutes. but words aren't coming to me.. women's rights..i feel like i have said everything possible and them some. somehow i need one. more. PARAGRAPH.

what makes this particularly hard is how many random thoughts are in my head..

i need to go running.. i'm getting chubby i feel like. in the notebook when Allie goes "i don't paint anymore.." i feel like i'm sitting here saying "i don't run anymore.." then i realize it's because i have no time. none at all. i come to school, go home and do chores, then work until 8 sometimes 9, then crash. running is what kept me sane for all of high school. why is it now, when i need it the most, i have no time for it?

it breaks my heart a little.

i was on insta and i saw this picture. this girl has amazing hair.. but it was like "staying up late at night thinking of all the wrong i've done to people.. #i'msosorry #otherhashtags #moredepressedhighschooldrama

i don't know this girl. at all. all i know is what i've heard from people and she doesn't have many fans from the group of people i hang out with. but even if i'm totally wrong about what she's referring to, i'm kinda glad she went and hurt certain individuals..because it gave me the opportunity to know certain people on a level that never would have been reached unless we were both broken in a sense.. i guess "pain" is this weirdly gnarly thing. it hurts oh so bad, like double over on your  bed and sob into the early hours of the morning bad but..it makes us that much stronger. weirdness. 

i really need headphones..there are so many conversations going on around me and i don't care about your "Peruvian bread from Mexico.." or "your epic jump shot last night" or even "oh my god. she totally slept with her boyfriend!" that one did make me laugh though. thank goodness for laptops you can hide behind. 

i need a hug..

or flowers..

or a puppy..

or finals to be over. i never thought they would be this bad. i always looked at my college friends and thought "psh..i bet it's not even that bad.." oh hah no. it is that bad and some. 

then when your 6 page research final goes "poof" and you're left with half a paragraph.. you want to kill yourself. 

but thanks to lovely Britt Britt, i somehow got through this. i'm so incredibly glad my best friend is showing me the ropes with this whole "college-finals" thing. i would die without someone so willing to let me cry to them. 

(this was written at 11..and posted at 6:30. my finals are HALF way OVER!! heck to the yes!!)  

pre-finals week

finals are next week

well sorta. 

i have my final presentation and final paper due on thursday.

then i have a math final in a week and a bio final sometime next week too.

i'm freaking out. 

i have tons of studying that needs doing

before i kill myself i found pins that make me happy

enjoy

grumpy kitty:)

oh ya, i got a letter from Matt today!!:) 

my birthday is in 13 days:)

work opens in 10 days..

finals start in 3 days..

i just don't want to do my homework.