flash back

sometimes i like to pull out the old picture albums 

and just look at all the tons of pictures we have.

basically, i spent my baby years almost naked and my childhood fully dressed on a taekwondo mat. 

 

itty, bitty, newborn me:)

clearly, clothes are for losers. 

very early on i learned that life was hard. oh so very hard. thank goodness for daddy's. 

daddy's girl since 1994

sometimes i forget i'm mexican..then i look at this and think 

oh goodness gracious. i should've been on a soap opera. mexicans are known for that kinda stuff. 

finally

i've decided that mondays are going to be my new favorite day.

or at least second favorite day. 

today, 

i finally got a job

meet your new hostess at the wild mustang grill and bakery

:)

good day eh?

but there was this awkward conversation when i mentioned that if for some reason i never got married, i'd be okay with it. and kels was like "wow. that's a sad life." 

and in my head, it isn't. if for some reason it doesn't work out for me, why would i mope around? i'd get a dog and go play in europe. if i do get married (fingers crossed) then awesome. me and the hubby and puppy will go play in europe. no part of that sounds sad to me..?

i dunno..i just think that it's okay to have a career..and to go play by yourself for a little. but if the right guy asks the question sooner than i figured, i would not hesitate to say yes. i've seen incredible women go to LAW SCHOOL while having a baby. 

also, today i struggled with my math homework..

taylor is in puerto rico..

i'm on my own..

i miss him..

even if i don't see him during the week, it's okay, because he's here. 

he's close-ish.

but now he's super duper far away 

aaaaaaaaaand 

who knows when i'll see him..

hopefully no sharks eat him..

or get attacked by crabs..

i miss him

i can't help but wonder...

i've always grown up being told that the church brings true happiness. 

and for the longest time, i've never thought any different. 

the gospel is light, families are forever, we need to marry return missionaries

but...what happens when the ugly D word rears its head into what seems a happy relationship?

when divorce is being thrown around..what do you do then?

my family was supposed to be happy..we were supposed to be together forever.

and now it seems like we can't even get through a day without anyone fighting, yelling and eventually crying. 

i have so many friends that have parents who love each other and it's obvious to see. so many friends who aren't members of the church and they're so much happier than we are. 

how is that fair in the eternal prospective? 

my family will be together but these other families who really do love each other won't? just because they didn't accept the gospel?

that just doesn't seem fair. 

maybe if it weren't for my college tuition they're taking on..

they'd be less stressed and my family would be okay..

maybe if i had gotten a full ride instead of partial it'd be okay..

maybe if i would....

i don't know what to do. 

when my sister asks me if  it'll be okay, i want to say yes so badly..but knowing that it might not be scares me. 

i can't help but wonder why the idea that temple marriage is ideal has been drilled into my head.. it only makes seeing it fall apart that much harder. 

it terrifies me. 

i'm scared...i don't know what to do..

yes well..

catch up game yes?

last weekend i finally got back into the sparring ring after far too long. 

it was a hard fought match, but oh my, it was fun. never will i ever take a break for that long. Kenzi was an awesome fighter. you win some an lose some right? but i had the best cheerleaders anyone could ever ask for:)

then

taylor went to sadies and i had a girl date with britt!:) 

(this is where i would post a picture of tay and his date..but i feel like that's creepy. and i'm a cool girlfriend so i won't.) 

then 

my sister was like "hey..is taylor coming to my thing?'

(her "thing" is her playing her violin at young women in excellence) 

and i went " i dunno, i'll ask him"

so i was like "so..my sissy has a viola thing and asked if you were coming.." 

then he was like "when and where??:)"

and honestly, it sorta melted my heart when he was so willing to come support my yittle sis.

so he came tonight :) 

then my sister was like "i have a joke."

and i was like "okay?"

then she was like "not for you..for taylor.."

and this is  huge..she hated him for a while..and now she's telling him jokes?? there must be something right with this kid

so she took my phone and started telling jokes to taylor. but she was really tired and he was taking forever to reply but she NEEDED to see what he said..

i dunno..something about that just melted my insides:) 

death sentence

i feel like i might have just signed away  the rest of my life for spring semester. 

i'm taking 15 credits. 

math 1010

english 2010

fitness for life 

polysci 1100

and philosophy 1000

but honestly, i am really super excited about it all. 

rate my professor tells me my instructors are peachy. 

and! my earliest class is 9:) 9, 10, and 11 on fridays:) 

i dig this whole college deal 

7/30 things: job

my dream job would be me sitting in some incredible cute little office watching millions of youtube videos finding cool bands and stuff, 

with an assistant who brought me tea and hot coco oh and cinnamon rolls whenever i asked. 

is that a thing??

meet my current obsessions 

i finally jumped onto this whole imagine dragons band wagon, and i''m a little super sad that i didn't sooner. i love theeeeeeeem 

these too. i feel so indy hipster listening to them  with my flower print pants on sippin on a pumpkin spice latte writing a paper on the election. 

election 2012

i dunno about you..but i was glued to my t.v. watching the election. 

i voted Obama and i am a proud democrat. 

although, i do think that Romney might be better suited for the economic situation, he was no where near where I thought he should have been with social issues. 

NOTE: i said I. ME. WHAT I THINK. 

everything that i think was important was vitalized in President Obama's campaign. like woman's issues and immigration. 

personally, since i'm the one who has the vagina, i think i should be the one who makes the call with what i can do with it. 

just sayin..

oh, i also love all those DIE HARD AMERICANS who bash the president. um really? hypocrites much? i think that "loving" America comes with having respect for it's leadership whether you agree with it or not..but hey, that might just be me.

also, if you're under 18, shut up. you honestly don't know what's going on. you're only saying what you've heard your parents say. 

i personally think that our country is headed somewhere where it needs to be. i am stoked for what these next 4 years will bring.