flash back

today i went to juice n' java with the ex. 

this is the ex. 

vegas 2010. u.s. open 

when my team merged with his, i remember walking in and thinking "oh hey..he's cute. he's going to be my boyfriend sooner or later." and what do ya know.. he was.

we competed in forms. so basically, we spent hours upon hours working on our forms together in front of mirrors. and eventually, we went to the biggest international open in the world...and got our sorry 16 year old butts handed to us. 

after a sticky breakup, we lost touch. clean break ya know? he went to orem and i was at mountain view. i didn't hear from him in two solid years and i'd see him occasionally at a cross race. but not too long ago he facebooked me and we talked for a little..or maybe until two in the morning. and it was just all about the "good times." something about being 16 was just so fun for us. and it was nice. i was able to get closure that i was certain i didn't need for two years. it was okay. he didn't hate me. we were civil. all is well. 

then today, guess who i get a text from..? 

the ex...

so since he's the ex, i HAD to look good. like "oops i'm cute..sorry i've moved on" cute. 

messy curls, skinny jeans, loose purple high-low cut shirt.

oops..i'm cute...:) 

"hey i'm in orem for today and tomorrow..and i'm down to do whatever."

well okay.. so i was like 

"who is this..?"

because i didn't have his number. and after introductions, we agreed that coffee tonight was the plan. 

normally, coffee get togethers are simple.

1. meet at coffee shop

2. get drinks

3. talk about nothing until drinks are gone

4. depart 

this one was a little different..

one dirty chai later, and we ended up at some park talking about our "good old days." then we ended up walking around the river bottoms for a solid half hour. mind you, it was freezing. 

again, all we have in common two years later, was out relationship...that neither one of us is wanting to bring up.. me because there's nothing left in the past..him..i don't know..and i'm not sure i ever will.

this whole thing made me realize how i'm incredibly happy i have taylor. he puts up with me when i think with my ovaries..and cry every other day..and he cuddles me..and he holds my hand and kisses my forehead.. and gives me his coat when i'm cold. he just takes care of me:) and i think that today, i had a major breakthrough with our relationship. i was able to actually word what i'm thinking. i was able to follow my thought process and let him know. because usually, i'm so caught up in crying that i don't remember. but i did today! and no tears.:)  month five has been anything but easy.. here's to month six:)

all too true.. don't sweat the small stuff..