i'm deathly afraid of spiders.
i don't really know where this fear came from but i've always found them to be gross. when i was in preschool, this girl i still know to this day, was playing with a daddy long leg. it was crawling up and down her legs and she'd hold it and ew. it was just so gross to me. then, we lived in this ghetto apartment when i was little, and spiders all over the place. i'd wake up with spider bites all over my legs and one time my face. i was petrified. they're just so gross and it makes me want to cry. i am willing to call of a wedding even, if the guy i chose to marry won't squish my spiders. it's not something huge, but to me, it means the world and a half.
rejection. i think that to some extent everyone has this fear. not everyone is 100 percent comfortable with themselves 100 percent of the time.
i've seen how devastating rejection can be on someone. so whenever i feel like it could happen, i get out of the situation as fast as possible. that might be why i never last very long in relationships. i'm scared of letting someone know every detail about me then have them leave. i think that's why i tend to close off or just not even open up. it's easier to for me to move on knowing there was so much of me they didn't know, i didn't share anything too personal. it doesn't matter how long a relationship is, i've been in one with myself for so much longer. at the end of the day if i don't look after myself, who will? but it's nice to know that there are genuinely nice people around.
regret. i don't want to look back when i'm old and realize i had a life full of "what if's" i want to be able to look back and have tons of stories from all the adventures i went on and all the cool people i met. i remember one time that i felt regret at it's fullest. it was on the way back from a run, i was pacing with varsity and we were back to the school by now. we were crossing the fields, and i was exhausted. so i fell back and finished with the jv girls. i was so mad at myself. i was so close. and i didn't finish. i know it's not a huge thing to regret, but the feeling afterwards makes me never want to regret anything much larger ever.
rejection. i think that to some extent everyone has this fear. not everyone is 100 percent comfortable with themselves 100 percent of the time.
i've seen how devastating rejection can be on someone. so whenever i feel like it could happen, i get out of the situation as fast as possible. that might be why i never last very long in relationships. i'm scared of letting someone know every detail about me then have them leave. i think that's why i tend to close off or just not even open up. it's easier to for me to move on knowing there was so much of me they didn't know, i didn't share anything too personal. it doesn't matter how long a relationship is, i've been in one with myself for so much longer. at the end of the day if i don't look after myself, who will? but it's nice to know that there are genuinely nice people around.
regret. i don't want to look back when i'm old and realize i had a life full of "what if's" i want to be able to look back and have tons of stories from all the adventures i went on and all the cool people i met. i remember one time that i felt regret at it's fullest. it was on the way back from a run, i was pacing with varsity and we were back to the school by now. we were crossing the fields, and i was exhausted. so i fell back and finished with the jv girls. i was so mad at myself. i was so close. and i didn't finish. i know it's not a huge thing to regret, but the feeling afterwards makes me never want to regret anything much larger ever.
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