Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2012

that moment when..

ever since i was little, i always thought of UVU as the "loser college" 
at the time it was a junior college and not very cool. 
i remember saying "mom. i will go to BYU before UVU" 
and guess where i ended up..

UVU. 

i did a ton of credits in high school, but i didn't quite finish an associates degree. so instead of bargaining with the U, i decided that i would put off my dream school for a little and be smart. i'm at UVU finishing up an associates. i'm 28 credits short. so two more semesters after this one. honestly, its so hard being at the loser school. i love the fact that i'm done with class by one at the latest,  my classes are fairly easy and a few of the people i've been brave enough to talk to are nice. but i don't love it. i'm not having the time of my life. it honestly sucks a little bit. 

but that moment when it all starts falling together a lot better than you could have ever hoped for is amazing. 

i love my major. oh so very much. biology. a few years ago, i never would have imagined that i'd be a biology major. but i'm loving it. it's something that both me and my parents agree on. then i figured out what i want to minor in. exercise science and outdoor recreation. something that i honestly am interested in and i think it'll just be fun. 

the wonderful part of all this, is that when i transfer to the U in two semesters, it's all going to work out. the U has an amazing science program and it's not like my major and minor are too far off. they're close enough related that i think it'll be good. and i guess if i'm not married by the time i get my bachelors, i'll get my masters. 



basically, it's all coming together so much  nicer than i could have hoped for. i'm a little scared about what my future holds, but no good story ever began with "this one time at my parents house.." i am stoked. 



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

not real. not yet. no way.

i just don't know anymore.. 
it wasn't real until today...
her body was there..but what made it so special was far far away. 
i miss you jay.. 
i want you to come back..
"our best friend is SO attractive." 
oh man..we had some crazy conversations.. 
everyone treats me like i'm made of glass. if they say the wrong thing, i'll shatter into a million pieces. 
yes. i'm okay. 
yes, it's so much harder then i ever expected this to be. 
no, i don't know anything anymore.. 

i'm so thankful for all those people who've reached out to me during this. 
britt. you are seriously the older sister i never had.. 
thank you so much for coming with me today and giving me the heads up on what to do.. 
it means so much that you would take time from your day to help me overcome something like this. 



i just don't know what to do anymore.. 

sweet nothings