not much..

whenever he leaves and i hear his bike rumble down my street, i can't help but smile and think "that's mine" and love every second of it. 

i finally found a good one. 

super duper

i always swore i'd never be a super senior. i was ready to kill myself before i would go back but then this boy came along...

and the rest is history.

thanks to this wonderful gent for an AMAZING night. it most def topped my senior prom. 

finals

taylor stole my passwords for the week and guess who finished all her work??

this one. 

guess who lost all interest in facebook...

this one...

during finals week, i just wanna hit all the girls who get ready in the morning and i think that starbucks should have a loyalty program that gives out free coffee to students on finals week. 

i also just finished my math final. in 40 minutes..

i feel sick. 

the end. 

i have a home.

i took  a polysci class this semester. and i love it. it's just so interesting and i understand it. and coming from a math class that makes you cry, poly sci is the hug you need. weird right?

a month ago i met with my mentor and i mentioned that how not happy i was with my biology home, and how much i loved my poly sci class. so she told me to go meet with an advisor and figure if it's something i really want to do. i'm meeting with Michelle tomorrow. so true to my slacker roots, i met with a poly sci advisor today. and lemme tell you. i fell in love.

i have a home. i'm not a biology weirdo, i'm a poly sci weirdo. 

i only declared a poly sci associates but still. i am in love. maybe i'll be a biology minor. but she mentioned that for my senior year i can do an internship worth 10 freaking credits in freaking WASHINGTON DC. 

and i can literally get any job i want because a poly sci major is almost like a wild card.

phew. i have a home i love. 

i feel like this is what i needed to get me motivated. i have something to look forward to other than bugs and darwin. 

the next big battle is going to be telling my parents.. My cousin in a poly sci major and when my dad found out, he ripped her a new one. so lets hope he's moved on because i love this already. 

also, for my english final, i can make it into a blog!:) YES. 

then...I GOT A RAISE AT WORK!!!!:) 

also, i promised tay i wouldn't blog but i NEEDED to share.

i have a home:) 

blah

i feel like people either love high school or hate it. there's no middle ground. if you loved high school, you are almost guaranteed to love college. and if you hated it, you are guaranteed to love college more. 

i loved high school. no doubt. best 3 years so far. it's not like i was super popular and had TONS of friends. in fact, i didn't like a lot of people in my class, but i had friends i saw every day. i felt like someone cared about what i was doing and where i was going. 

then you get here, and it's ANOTHER 4 FREAKING YEARS of HIGH SCHOOL. 

only without your friends who made it bearable. you're on your own almost. seriously. i park, walk to class, sit down, not say a word to anyone, then leave. every day. it's getting really old. i never figured that the people who were SO vital during those 3 years would be gone.

THEN the whole mission thing screwed me. since my boy friends (as in friends who are boys. i only have one boyfriend) are 19, they're outie. and now all my gal pals are outie too. guess who that leaves stranded? 

ding ding ding..this one..

i can't WAIT to get out of this stupid school..and move on. i feel suffocated and like no one quite gets it. for the most part, i can bear it, but i can't anymore. i am literally going to pull my hair out and look like cynthia from Rugrats. 

wanna know who gets me?

t-swift. only not really. only her chorus gets me. 

  

us vs. them

i feel like pinterest is FULL of quotes like "you don't chose who you love" blah blah blah. and i couldn't agree more. but no where in these pages upon pages do you find "except if you're gay. because if you're gay, you chose to love them and now we're denying you of all the rights married people get. because there is something wrong with you and you don't deserve them." at least i haven'f found anything like that.. 

it's kinda funny to think about. the pilgrims came here for religious freedom. is there a billboard somewhere that says "WELCOME to America! home of the free and Christians "? why are we forcing christian views on people who don't want them? so much for religious freedom? 

what in the world made us think this was okay? kim kardashian can get married and call it quits for 72 DAYS and that's okay but gays who've been in love for YEARS can't?

America is all about the freedoms we have. then why are we denying them to people because of who they love? that's not equality. if you're against the gays getting married then fine. no one is forcing YOU to do it. but get your nose out of other people's happiness. if marriage can be a "civil ceremony"  then it sure as hell better be a "civil RIGHT"  and anyone who thinks it's okay to discriminate against people over something they can't control, is an ignorant douche. 

mondays.

in this house the "i'm having a bad day" face means 

"ASK ME WHAT WENT WRONG. TELL ME EVERYTHING. STOP CRYING." 

it also gets translated into..

"HELP ME WITH EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG." 

and normally, helping with editing something isn't too bad, except when it's "help me open a word document. it's not on the computer." 

and the first thing that jumps into my mind is "you dumb fuh. yes it is. do you NOT go to school? the public school system can't be THAT bad. you're just an idiot." 

then when people start yelling at me, i lose it.. 

i wanna curl up and cry. if anyone needs me i'll be in bed. sulking in my tears.