shake what your momma gave you

crimson night. 

easily the funnest night of my college career thus far. 

a bajillion people on a dance floor, music blaring, and lights in your face. 

can it get any better? 

well sure. but we're in college and we don't care. 

i was finally able to go to my very first crimson night. the first time i was invited, i had to take the ACT the next morning..then i had something else and i almost had to work this one. buuut thank the lord someone covered my shift literally two hours before i had to go in. 

so it was off to frontrunner to journey up to salt lake. lemme tell you, the elderly are hopeless. there was an old woman in front of me getting her and her grandson's ticket and it took years. i had to buy mine and run to catch this train. with my whole life in tow. my bag, my back pack full of clothes, my blanket and pillow. 

40 minutes of the polar express later, i was in the city. the grey hound station is right next to the frontrunner stop and there was just something sort of thrilling about being able to jump on a bus and end up in portland or seattle without anyone stopping me. 

one trip to the mall later and we were in the hobbit house getting ready for the night. when in doubt, wear leggings. that's my new rule. unless it's summer. then you wear shorts. no matter what. finally when all the girls were there, the drinks were broken out. including the juice for the DD:) 

holla at yo gurl. we quickly established rules for our "responsibilibuddies"

a responsibilibuddy is someone who 

a. won't let you hook up with anyone less than a 6. 

except if it's britt and a black man because we all don't like black men so we're assuming they're all fair game

b. will hold your hair when you're throwing up

c. won't let you get lost in the crowd 

d. if any article of clothing is coming off, assist.
clothes stay on no matter what. 

e. assist. assist. ASSIST. 

then we also made 4 more rules. 

1. no leaving early alone

2. no crying

3. no throwing up 

4. no secret shots 

a little while later we were ready to party it up. 

we show up and it's the most packed thing i've ever seen. me and crystal have to go in a separate line because we don't have u-cards, so we did that then finally we got in. off to the dance floor we went. 

bodies. sweaty. drunk. bodies. all over. we worked our way to the middle of the crowd and danced the entire night away. usually guys just come up and grab you and you're sorta stuck until a responsibilibuddy gets you away. thank god for britt. every single time some random came up behind me, it'd take about 2 seconds before britt pulled me away. but there was this nice guy who ASKED me to dance. but then i smiled and danced away.. sorry nice guy... had i not had a boyfriend then sure. buuuuut i really like mine way too much. we danced from like 11:30 to 2 am. 

i've come to the conclusion that crimson night does many things. 

it builds confidence for all the guys who get to say they grinded with 379 girls, makes girls feel so pretty. boys all over you the entire time. but then sorta makes you feel weird when girls keep running away from you.. i ran like all night. all in all, so. much. fun.  

v-day and v-cards

"he's super cute and just GAH! i like him"

i feel like every time you ask a girl about her boy she says the same thing. 

but this time, i really mean it. he IS super cute and just GAH. 

when you work in a restaurant working holidays like valentines day is inevitable. so tay tay and i both worked and we agreed on doing valentines day on saturday. buuut there was NO way i was just going to disregard the most lovey dovey day in the whole year. so i got on pinterest and started searching for some cute do-dad for tay

here's what i came up with...

1. cookies

2.brownies

3. heart shaped cookies with writing 

4. cakes 

5. more cookies

6. more brownies

7. candy grams

pinterest failed me. i didn't wanna kill taylor with my baking skills and my poetry skills aren't up to par. 

so i thought of the next best thing. 

a heart attack. :)

with tons of cute things written on them:) 

so i got my sissy and we spent a solid hour cutting hearts out and writing stuff. but then i had to go to work at 5 so we were in a time crunch. 

before that, i had the most stressful day at school. freshman to the max over here. 30% of my final grade is on one test that i spent all night studying for. i get to my THURSDAY ONLY class ready to kick this test's butt, when i find out that the test was on tuesday. pretty sure my world caved and started flooding as my eyeballs did too. so i ran into my academic counselor's office to see what i should do. but she wasn't there, but another lady was and she told me to go talk to him and tell him what was up and that she would bet her life that he'd let me take the test. so i did, i went and pleaded my case with tear streaked cheeks and thank holy Jesus, he's letting me take it. so minor heart attack right there. about an hour after i got home, taylor shows up with a dozen LONG STEM roses. :) totes adorbs right??:) i was totally caught off guard because i was thinking that we were doin stuff on saturday. but it was a pleasant surprise to a horrific day:) 

whadda gem:)

SO after cutting hears, i was off to work, and we get slammed. until 10. we had a table come in at ten. we freaking CLOSE at 10. i left work at like 10:35, and i got the other host to help me with taylor's car:) winter nights are freezing in utah friends. but oh so worth it. :) 

"my mom is telling me there is something on my car..." 

so i'm thinking SHOWTIME!

then i don't hear from him for 40 WHOLE MINUTES.

so i'm thinking he's bugged with me for attacking his car....again...

but then he wasn't so we're a-okay:) 

oh and another funny thought, in college, i guess anywhere, sex is such a norm. we had a lecture branch off and turn into a sex talk. in high school i feel like i would just stare at my desk with my face turning red. in college, you all just laugh at the dirty jokes professors are cracking. even at UVU in the heart of utah valley. maybe people here aren't so uptight.   

and off they go

no one should see 9 am on a snowy saturday. it's just mean and not okay. 

we had a hostess meeting so off to work i went at 9 freaking AM. i was not a happy camper. i show up to the weirdest meeting ever. basically the whole hosting process is getting made 100x harder. so here goes nothing i guess. then we talked about suggestive selling. and our pie. "you can't sell a product you've never had. you guys have all had the pie, so sell the heck out of it" said the owner. then morgan was like "um. i haven't" so then Glen brought out 3 giant trays full of slices of pie. so i ate 3. 

THEN

i called britt because we planned on going up the canyon for our run. she was still in bed. it was FREAKING 11. so after prying her from her bed with the jaws of life, jadeo potato came over and up the canyon we went.  3.25 miles in, we found ourselves in ankle deep snow, wind pelting us with MORE snow, and a 3.25 mile run back. half way there, i had to stop and there went my pie. never again will i eat pie then go running. pretty sure i got my pie fix for the next few months. this thon does NOT stand a chance against us.

after thawing out in the shower for about an hour, i had to get ready for work. boo. work. but this weekend, i managed to not bus tables all nights:) i'm sure the other hosts hate me for it but my hip was killing me so..i did as little walking as i could. Roger came over and told me i was going to start training on to-go's next week!!:) holla!!:) to-go's get more hours and tips ontop of the tip outs we already get. monaaaay in the bank!! yeah right. more like monay in UVU..or cafe rio...or Moab...lesbehonest

an after work movie sounded like a good plan, so off to warm bodies tayter tot and i went. it was suuuuuper funny:)

THEN
the next morning at 9. again. we went to parker's farewell. parkie poo is going to RUSSIA!!! he is gonna be an AMAZING missionary. look out russia. buuuuut i realized last night how much i'm going to miss him..like lots. it sorta bums me out that so many of my friends are leaving. but i guess it's for a good cause.. whateerrr.

and that,my friends, brings us to today. where i'm blogging instead of writing my 4-5 page essay due tonight at midnight.. 

places to go

i feel like the question of the hour is 

"what are you going to?" 

what are you going to do with school? with work? mission? 

what about how we do things? does that not matter? i feel like what we do isn't as important as how we do it. how we do it ultimately decides who we become. 

a scary thought is not knowing what i wanna do.. i'm not sure what i'll do, but well.. i want to go places and see people. i want my mind to grow and gain a new perspective. i want ti live where things happen on a big scale. 

is cliche as it sounds, i want to live a life full of "oh well's" instead of "what if?'s" when i'm old i want to be able to sit on my porch swing (dear future hubby, can we get one? pleeeease?) and tell stories of all my adventures. i want to see the world and hear life from all perspectives. i want to hike the swiss alps and eat pasta in italy. raise baby elephants in india and maybe even get real deal jesus sandals from iraq. 

i don't think that living inside the mormon bubble makes my life experience any less valid then those who've been outside thus far, and i hate it when people act like living here makes me sheltered. you'd be surprised at the things bishop's kids do..tisk tisk. it's not all scripture study parties and movie nights down in the valley. but i feel like i don't wanna be here forever. at least not utah county. it's so easy to fall into a routine and never break out of it, then before you  know it you're 35 with 2 kids and young woman's president making funeral potatoes for the relief society pot luck. 

i sorta feel like i'm in limbo right now. you know.limbo..like in the movies it's sorta like the waiting room before floating up to heaven or riding the escalator down to hell. i'm in life limbo. i have three images in my head. 

1. who i'm "supposed" to be

this cute little mormon girl searching for a return missionary to get married to, or even seriously considering submitting misson papers, at BYU majoring in something like biology or even pre-med just so i can work for a few years then claim my "rightful" spot as a house wife. 

2. who i want to be

this  independent free spirited girl who drinks tea and coffee. listens to indy rock and has a fairly solid plan on where i want to be. 

and 3. who i really am

i'm some weird mix of both. i mean i love the church but sometimes i have to wonder if it's really for me... i'm not at BYU like my parents held their breath for, and i have no solid plan of who i want to be or what i even want to do. i'm banking on my last year of generals to figure that out.. i drink tea on the regular and my playlist is a weird mash of indy rock, country, and even les mis. i'm scared to disappoint my parents and i cry a lot more than i'd like to admit. and what i hate to admit most is that i'm dying to get married. i think it sounds so oh so so much fun. (i'm secretly holding out for britt britt to get married so i get my wedding fix for the next few years. but don't tell her) 

all i'm certain of is knowing that i have places to go, people to see and me to discover.