whirl wind

powell was great. 

i now look like an orphan that could be adopted for two dollars a day. 

for not having the dynamic duo of jason and jackie, we fended for ourselves pretty well. the night that stands out the most was wednesday night. costa for dinner night. hay hay and muggs were on the boat, the kitchen was the cool place to hang out at, and 12 inch whispers went out the window. it gave me a sneak peak into what married with children life would be like. over all, it was a hell of away to start the end of summer. a week with the best bitches out there? yes please. 

my best friend leaves in 8 days... 

i feel weird about it..i think it's really starting to hit me. i cannot tell you how many times i've gone to send a butt face snapchat to kels and then go "wait..she's gone..." and now britt's leaving., 

 classes start in 3 weeks and 6 days. i accepted my scholarship and have to take my letter in to "Formally Accept" it. the tuition deadline is in 15 days. lets hope i don't get screwed. i also need clothes...and a car...and books...sigh

i got home from powell close to 10 pm, and guess who was at my door not even half hour after? the boy:) whenever i leave, i leave to places where i have no service so i can't talk to him for a week at a time. when he leaves, he goes to civilized places where we still talk. it was sort of the best thing ever when i opened my door and there he was. i was officially home. 

i got an email from Elder Snow,  a letter from Hermana Carlson and i'm still meaning to write Mark and Meg.. 

life just keeps on commin and some days i just want to curl up in a ball and sleep..

i don't leave because there's a 14 year old who wakes up crying asking if it'll all be okay.

i only respect you because you raised me. not because you deserve it. 

this isn't supposed to happen this way. they did everything right and yet it's falling apart.

and there's nothing i can do except watch helplessly. 

because it's summer.

when summer comes along...

1. people decide to go on missions. 

like kelsey. one of my best friends since the 7th grade when we were both awkward and weird. Now after years of running cross, we're grown up and still really awkward and prolly even more weird.
 

we like to pretend that we got normal.

lies. it 's all a lie. 

2. it was the 4th of july! and why the heck to we even call it the fourth?? it's not like we call christmas the 25th of december. Ya dig??? anyways, me britt jade and shayla went and played on the parade route. it was hot and sticky all night. but it was an adventure for sure. then on the actual day, tay came over after i got off work and we watched hunger games! then he brushed my hairs, and i tried to get ready then we got food and watched fireworks with his fam bam. and my pal Krew was there. he's the only baby who's still cute when he's sticky...which is often.

3. I'm making efforts to refriend my old friends. 

 4. i'm being a savy shopper and going to 4th of july sales because i'm poor.. 

5. i went tubing down provo river with these cool cats!

it was most definitely one hell of an adventure.

it was 100 degrees when we got there. 

it was a hurricane when we got off the river half way through. 

shaunie and i thought we were going to die. 

                                                                                                                                             

summer 2013

things to do this summer: 

{GOALS}

{} save $700.00 this summer NOT including books 

{} go to lake powell 

{} eat out only once a week 

{} hit the gym at least 4 times a week 

{} blog more often 

{} make a budget and keep it

{} keep petunia clean 

{} buy new clothes 

{} get eyelashes 

{} write all my missionaries
[ellie eyestone, megan runnells, kelsey carlson, mark dawson, and austin snow] 

{} run a race 

{} go camping

{} movie up the canyon 

{} learn to make dinner 

{} refriend my old friends
{} go to kelsey's farewell
{} donate plasma
{} hike once a week
{} run to bums beach
{} seriously look into a car loan
{} keep my room clean
{} redecorate my room
{} go to a summer concert
{} take biotin every day
{} no soda for the rest of summer
{} learn to make spoon rings
{} take pictures
{} try a new snow cone place
{} go to sunday silly
{} avoid [more] exhaust burns

let me ask you something..

I want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn't think you'd live through. Tell me what the word "home" means to you and tell me in  a way that i'll know your mother's name just by the way you describe your bedroom when you were eight. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? An if you would, would you notice how the tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they're sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think anger is a sincere emotion of just the timid of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother's joy when she spoke it for the first time. I want you to tell me all the ways you've been unkind. Tell me all the ways you're cruel. See I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people's wounds. 

welcome back

i've got this boy. and he's great. 

he's so great that when we play, it's just us two. 

we're not actively trying to impress one another, we flow. 

it's raw and real and i wouldn't change a thing.

it's comfortable. it's home.

a few weeks ago this boy came up to me at the gym. he was nice and asked for my phone number. so i naturally tried to sneak out before i gave it to him because sometimes i'm THAT girl. the girl who won't tell you she isn't interested up front because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. he caught me at my car and my phone number he got. 

today he asked me to go to dinner. after i had told him i was dating someone else. yogurt and coffee is okay, dinner i feel obligated to sit next to you and possibly be forced into holding your hand. no thank you. so we opted for yogurtland and the best friend came along. 

had it not been for her, we would have sat there in awkward silence. we have nothing in common. and it might be the boy's fault. i've gotten so comfortable with him, i forgot a little how you're supposed to act with normal boys..

all in all, he forgot his wallet, i had mine.

we had nothing in common, 

he's a fair weather Utah fan, 

and wears football jerseys during off season.  

i could not be more happy with my very own boy. this confirmed that  i picked a winner. 

i think this is what it's like.

the boy came over after being gone all weekend and offered to make me dinner. we ventured off to the grocery store and found food and came back and ate on the porch. it was precious. after dinner we hung out and then he even helped me wash dishes. 

if that's what it's like to be married, i cannot wait. 

(even though it's totally weird right now.)