we are NOT friends.

most people can go over to the neighbors house and borrow a cup of milk. 

heck, i was at taylor's one day when the neighbor kids came over with arm fulls of grocieries. 

i don't dare ask my neighbor for ANYTHING. she's sort of this bitter, angry monstrosity of evil in a 110 pound woman. POST PREGNANCY.  you would think so much negative energy would kill such a small person, and you'd also think that she'd have ugly kids because she's such a monster. but no, her kids are cute as heck. maybe it's kitty cat corner neighbors that are horrid because our real neighbor is a peach. he keeps to himself and it's great. but this lady is awful. i have a certain parking spot on the west side of the covered spots. it stays shaded a little longer and when AC isn't a luxury i have, the longer my car can stay out of the sun, the better. but the thing is i live on the east side of the spots. so yesterday when i pulled in, she glared me down, poked her head around the corner to check if the other spots were taken and then glared again. and the first thing i wanted to say went something along the lines of "um, excuse me? do you own the UNCOVERED parking spots? no? i didn't think so." then i thought of maybe killing her with kindness and smiling whenever she looks at me, but i hate her. 

simply said, we are NOT friends. nor will i ever try to be. 

and my down stairs neighbor is also crazy. she's this morbidly obese woman who can't make it to her car without a walker. she also drives to the trash can. the way i like to clean my house is by singing ridiculously off pitch to loud music, shaking my butt and dancing around in my sports bra. this ritual doesn't start until like 12. and guess who called MY MOTHER to complain about it all.. my lovely neighbor. she can't sleep due to my inconsiderate music levels. it's noon...? i don't hate this woman, but i am sort of angry.

i cannot wait to move and get away from skinny monster face and down stairs neighbor.